The Girl With No Name

Do you know your purpose here on Earth? I didn’t, at least not until recently.

I became the “The Girl With No Name”, and for good reasons. The first reason being for my safety as I have to hide my true identity. The other to make light of my situation. Once the ladies from Dollz By Dezign offered me to be the first girl ever to take part as a Mentee in their Believe Foundation Mentorship Program, the first thing they did was give me my new handle. They stated that revealing your real name to society was not a prerequisite, as in their world everyone has a road name anyway. They stated that each name given, as it is never chosen by yourself, comes with honor and a great story behind it, and as Skully the Founder stated, “It keeps them guessing doesn’t it? “

I wear this handle with pride, not from shame, because it showed me that someone took the time to see who I really am.  It allows me to be heard, to have a voice, but to also be a representative to all the women out there that come from or are living with a situation like mine to know, that your not alone. I now know there is always someone to lean on, and I want other women to know this as well. The opportunity I was given to be mentored by the ladies of  “The Believe Foundation” now allows me to mentor others as well, and I thank them wholeheartedly.

I am 25 years old, and currently reside within Durham Region and have just recently became a counsellor at a women’s shelter in my area. I have two incredible parents, a younger brother, and a beautiful community of likeminded individuals who aim to serve a higher purpose, like me.

I had a great childhood. I come from a good family, one that taught me morals and values and provided me with unconditional love and support. My parents always made sure my brother and I had what we needed, they took us on trips, they played with us, they put us in different activities, and they made sure we had an opportunity to go to school and become whatever we desired. I originally went to school to become a Vet Technician, but soon dropped out and went back a few years later for Social Work. That decision came after many years of struggling with mental health, addiction, and trauma.  During high school, I became very unwell. Major depression, crippling anxiety, and suicidal tendencies hovered over me and made me feel like I was constantly drowning. I was introduced to people who felt the same as me and demonstrated unhealthy coping mechanisms. And it was through those people, that I found drugs and discovered a whole different level of suffering and insanity.

My use of substances led me into a drug induced psychosis. My addiction led me to people who abused me physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally, it led me to people who exploited me and worse. After going through countless traumatic experiences, I developed CPTSD and have been living in a constant state of fight or flight.

I have been through multiple mental health and addiction programs, I’ve been in and out of hospital, I’ve been to detox and rehab, I joined Narcotics Anonymous and most recently have started trauma therapy. I am grateful for having access to these services, although not all of them were helpful. They all taught me something different about myself and I learned what worked for me and what didn’t. I realized that if I want my life to improve, I must take responsibility for my healing, even if I didn’t cause my trauma.

No one was coming to save me, I had to save myself. But I’ve had a lot of great support along the way. I have connected with some incredibly powerful and strong women who I know will always be in my corner. These women have brought me into the motorcycle community and have empowered me to become the most independent, strong, and most healed version of myself. They encouraged me to get on a motorcycle and have shown me that woman can do ANYTHING a man can do and better.

Riding and club life seems to be male dominated, but it doesn’t have to be. As women we have the power to end that stigma if we all come together and realize how much power we actually have, as it is within that power that we can create change within our communities.

These women taught me it’s okay to be vulnerable, for there is courage in vulnerability. They have provided me with a sense of safety and belonging, an environment filled with love, compassion and free of judgement. They have given me a voice. They’ve given me hope.

My purpose here on Earth is to hold space for women who have experienced any type of discrimination, harassment, assault and/or violence and allow them to feel safe, seen and heard. It is important to me that women know they are not alone and that it is okay to be vulnerable and ask for help. This is a safe space to be ourselves, to grow, to learn and to empower each other. We never have to suffer alone or in silence, ever again.

As women we are all part of a greater plan, the power to create change, so please feel free to reach out to me at Girlwithnoname2023@gmail.com for all welcomed feedback and questions.

Vulnerability is not about winning, and it’s not about losing, it’s about having the courage to show up and be seen”. Brene Brown